Life's a Damn Bitch

2007-02-24T08:09:00.001-08:00

Hello everybody..Gong xi gong xi to all avid fans out there...May the year of the Pig bring everyone excessive prosperity and incessant obligations to your wishes...
It has been a long weekend....hope everyone enjoyed themselves and watched their weight too.. For today's topic,we are gonna touch on weighty issues...hahah that of course being how to watch your weight and obviously, how to lose it if you've gained it...Just follow the Diva's simple meal plan to achieving that desired silhouette diva-like body structure...
The rule of thumb is to eat as little as possible or better yet, eat nothing,or u cud do what i do and use food substitutes. The Diva's Weight watcher program is a program that i have just started only today...hope it'll work...ok letz cut the bullshit n get right to it.
For breakfast, i keep it simple. It's probably the least impt meal of the day. Having said that, my breakfast is simply a glass of milk coupled with a stick of cigarette..of course,for those lactose intolerant bitches, orange juice or any other types of juices will suffice as an alternative. Lunch is satisfied with 2 sticks of cigarettes and a glass of 7-up or milk or any beverage of your choice... Now,whenever i feel the hunger pangs strike me in between lunch and dinner,i turn to porn... Trust me babes,porn takes your mind right off the hunger and satisfies it like rum on a good ol winter day...oooh chow...now babyy tahtz what im talkin about...ok..back to dinner...for dinner, this is the time to indulge yourself after a hard day's dieting,but be careful u don't overdo it or end up ruining your day's effort of hardwork...2 sticks of celery,an apple,a glass of wine and cigarette and u'll be on your way to diva-dom...
I just measured my weight n i tip the scales at about 62kg...thatz a fuckin elephant kickin inside my ass...so hopefullly this new program will get me back right in shape of a blissful size 1... stay tuned for more updates and results on my weight loss...

2007-01-11T01:43:00.000-08:00

Apart from seeing those wonderfully cool animals...obviously there were more than the ones i showed u..haha one of my frens n myself also got to drive the tram around the island...like...how cool is that???? hahahha!!!!

Neh!!!! This is my pictorial evidence of me driving the tram...although the camera screen wasnt big enuff to fit the rest of the passengers...but well...everyone had a pretty good ride...look at those eyes of concentration how they focus on the road...hahahaha!!! now wait till u see raymond's face n body when he is driving....muahahaha

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAH!!!!!! WTF MAN RAYMOND!!!! who the hell sits like 90 degrees upright with their hands almost straightened at the steering wheel...actually i dun blame u la boy...ur a farking 180cm...itz amazing how u bent ur legs...hahahaha!!!

2007-01-11T00:50:00.000-08:00

Well done D'MILK!!!!!

Congratulations for once again capturing top place for WCOM Project!!!!

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank God,my manager,my management company,all my fans who voted for me muahahahahah!!! im so farkin sadistically insane!!! yea well whatever...anyway...good job guys...top not only in our class but out of 5 classes!!! Pooowwwweeerrrrr!!!! hahahaha
May the spirit of the Milk be always with u...

2007-01-10T09:14:00.000-08:00

A Day at the Zoooooo!!!!

What a fun day it was at the zoo...not to mention the free entry...hahaha....well there will always be priviledged ppl around and those who seek the priviledged...hahaa...so anyway here r some of my most beloved animals that i wud gladly bring home to raise just like my very own kids...gee i wud really love to have my own animal farm...i love those rare species bitches just like the crocodile bitch....ooh la la bloddy sexy...

First up is the white tiger...look at itz beautiful white striped snowy fur...hmm yum yum... i was thinking to myself how splendid itz skin would look as a jacket on me...no kidding...

Mah fave!!! mah fave mah fave mah notti lil faves...i am utterly shocked by the size of this baby..omg...fucking 10m long!!! not to mention how thick itz body is...wud also make a very quaint and dainty bag to go along with my tiger skin fur coat...hmm...

This is, yes, another tiger...a bitchy one at tat...it was feeling moody n prob in the midst of her PMS...not really my kinda tiger though...i wouldnt buy itz fur to make coat that is...heehee

2007-01-01T06:44:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year one and all...Welcome to the year 2007!!! Im so not farkin excited about it... *bleah*....i just hope im gonna strike it rich this year...the year of my most favourite animal...that being the pig...i love pigs not to mention bak kwa...

Back tracking abit...my dearly beloved friend gave me this badge for a X'mas gift...hahaha itz amazing that someone who only knew me for a year could know me sooo farkin well...hahah

Thank you Chua for this wonderful name tag...yep thatz me...the bitchiest you can ever get... Hahahaha....i swear im gonna pin that tag on my shirt from now on!!! hahaha...You can call me Mr Bitchiest Bitch...

This marine spa mud mask is one of my latest investments...although it costs a mere $5.90 from watson's but itz abilities are amazing...i tried it once and my skin (although still very much scratched from the farkin facial bitches) felt soft,smooth n springy!!! Girls should really give this a shot...to get that *doink* *doink* feel on their skin...and perhaps...be as pretty as me??? wahahah!!! im so thick skinned...
Anyway...Happy New YEar all!!

2006-11-25T06:03:00.000-08:00

Hi...
it's been a long time since I was last here...anyway right now...i'd just like everyone to join me in loving memory of my little puppy who was recently given away and this entry is specially for Baby Percy.
It was like probably the most cruel thing to ever do and a part of me has gone with him. I bought him and he was my first lil baby that i carried in my arms.I can still kinda remember the smell on his lil head...very much like a real baby's smell...soft and powdery. I couldnt stop cryin... cuz I love him so very much...I don't think i'd ever be able to come to terms with his departure from me..The saddest thing is probably the fact that i'd never be able to see him again for the rest of my life...And i will never ever forgive myself for not loving him more than i could have, for not listening to his every need and for scolding him everytime he was naughty...And this will live to be in my conscience for as long as i live...

Bye baby...Im so sorry for all the wrong things i've done to you...I hope u'll be happier at your new home...I LOVE you..forever and ever...i promise i won't ever forget you baby...
Percy
25th November 2006

2006-10-12T00:30:00.000-07:00

omg omg omg!!! i just got a sudden inspiration for this blog entry...so cool!!! i noe this self questionaiire thing is old school and some mite even think it to be lame...but while ur here,allow me to remind u that this is MY blog,so shut the fuck up,sit down n jolly well read the whole damn thing...wahahahah...

1. Have you ever been kissed?
@ Duh!!!

2. Where's zee most memorable place u've been kissed at?
@ my ass...literally...geographically it wud have to be IMH...

3. What turns you on?
@ intelligence,money,good fashion sense,humour...remote controller?

4. What turns you off?
@ my reflection in the mirror...

5. What's the stupidest thing you've done?
@ walk into HMV and askin the sales person,how do i get to HMV?

6. What's the grossest thing you've done?
@ aww..shucks..do we really have to get into this? ok,bursting a huge pimple right into my friend's specs...wahahaha!!! the pus n seed was on his glasses!!! wahahahahaha!!!! n yes..it was a truth or dare shit...

7. Do you have a crush on someone now?
@ fuck you...thatz my secret...ask something more sensible...

8. Alrite..how many times a day do you spank the monkey?
@ spank what monkey? don't you mean spank the banana???

9. Who was the first girl you kissed?
@ hmm...a eurasian girl called melissa...way back in kindergarthen....i still remember she kissed me after giving me tissue paper to eat...apparently she told me that was chewing gum... :S

10. How many times were you rejected by a girl?
@ 7

11. How many times were u accepted by a girl?
@ Zero

12. What do you like doing your free time?
@ staying free...

13. What do u like in a girl?
@ hmmm...acceptance,trust and compromise...

14. Good answer. Describe your dream girl.
@ make that my dream woman...ehhh i wud love a girl somewhere in her 40s...good career, intellectual,matured,loving...yeah...

15. Basically you love the cradle snatchers?
@ fuck off...letz end here...im sick of this....

2006-10-08T09:15:00.000-07:00

Man...all this was taken while waiting for Mr Birthday Boy to go cut his freakin cake..wahaha...
hahaha...i think i did it again...embarassing myself n everyone else behind the camera...they were all lookin on as i put my tongue right onto the glass...yea...eeew! hhahaha
Laladelalaladlaelaldlae......

2006-10-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

this is swell...listening to little richard's good golly miss molly as im bloggin...the haze has let up..n the night is tenderly pristine..awww...shucks...school's starting in another week's time..i miss my holidays...i love sleeping late n wakin up in the afternoons...bliss...

Yea...this was taken at a fren's party...a few of us went..n didnt noe anyone else!! so...we ended up entertaining ourselves...was killing ants on the table...how exciting..

My assholic friend who's a bloody Man U fan...hahaha!!! oh by the way...fuck u back jason!!! wahahah!!!

all the ants were exterminated....yea...terrorists win...got a call from nyabel...askin me wat i was doin...well darlin...u can now see wat i was doin when u called...

shit...boy that was some girl in a bikini....long legs,pink polka dot bikini with a see through butt panty...hahaha!!!!

2006-10-07T01:45:00.000-07:00

The haze has hit us...
this motherfuckin haze has really gotten to me...it chokes,suffocates n causes nausea in me...damn it...when will those farmers over there ever learn not to burn n hurt Mother Nature... those bitches...wish i cud knife them with a pitchfork...anyway...nothing much happened this week..stayed home the whole week!!! yes,itz not because i have no life...well apart from that..hahha!! i actually finally managed to scrimp n scrounge enuff money to do a minor procedure on my face by the wonderful Dr Joyce Lim...call me vain,but can i help it if itz a superficial n plastic world that we live in? like they say,if u can't beat them,join em...so yea..hell no am i gonna be able to add depth to the shallow mentality of the masses...so i'll just sink and be shallow myself...hahaha...anyway,back to the issue at hand...it was a really painful procedure that left me sorta slightly disfigured for this whole week...but ahhh well,itz worth it in the long run...
I remember just the other day...this so-called friend of mine...asked me to take a look at his blog...i thought perhaps he was like me,a newbie at blogs n so very excited to show off his new creation...lo and behold...in his fuckin blog was tonnes n tonnes of photos of his narcissistic self at posh restaurants,hotels and the glitziest parties...it was fucked up..yea sure...i dun eat at the most glitzy of restaurants,i can't even afford to buy a goddamn candy bar from the four seasons hotel...n yea...i dun attend glitzy parties where every1 smiles their cutesy lil fake smiles n dress to the nines...neither do i own expensive material shit like this friend of mine does...for a moment..it sunk me...i felt i didnt have much of ammunition to hit that motherfucker back with..but then again..im pretty happy with my life...well,no four seasons hotel lunch buffet for me tatz for sure,but at least i work for my own keep...i don't stretch out my prissy lil hand to my parents n then show it off to the world like i own it...everything,or at least most of the things i have now,was gained from my own hardwork n strategic financial planning(woootz...sounds chim)..hhahahaa...so i guess these rich people,prob never get to taste wat i call satisfaction...the only satisfaction they'll ever get is from stuffin their dollars and cents right up their fuckin asses n throwin it out thru their nostrils..(so now u noe y rich ppl have flaringly huge nostrils...itz where their fuckin loot comes out of)...please dun get me wrong...i have absolutely nothing against rich ppl..in fact,i noe some very rich but yet very down-to-earth people...i just hate show-offs...next time another motherfucker comes showin off to me,im gonna show them my hairy ass...n tell them tatz my fortune in there...look n dig hard enuff n u'll find some good shit...
Well...tatz enuff for one day...nite nite everybody...sleep tite...i noe some1's gonna be tuckin into his fuckin king sized bed with his quilts n butlers waiting around...not me though..i just hope his bed is big enuff for his balls n ego...

2006-10-02T09:52:00.000-07:00

ooh wow lookie who are here...the supermodels christy ian turlington and miss naomi koustav campbell have landed...hahaha!!! the 2 narcissistic vainpot egomaniacs...hhahaha...

Yum Slurp Burp...not gonna tell u what gorgeous shit caught my eye...wahahahah...

Da 3 stooges!!!

2006-10-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

This is what you get for making too much noise! From now on,thou shalt not bark more than 5 words a day...n thou shalt sleep in a blue basket by thyself...wahahahhahaa!!! my cutesy darling lil baby boy...soooo cute...poor thing...we had to isolate him by his lil self cuz he was makin wayyy toooo much conversation...hehe

2006-10-02T09:35:00.000-07:00

So well,there we were...on home soil once again...well,me n kous kinda got bored after a while of walkin around the school n all..so we found ourselves a nice lil playground...hahah...n yes,we let the lil fuckin kids in us out for a nice fling...next thing we knew,...hahaha!!! we were up n the high wall singing at the top of our voices...n posing as models...heh heh...

Koustav : This.....is.....your best shot....muahahahha (think Tyra Banks on ANTM)

Ian : This....is your best shot...wahahhaha!!!(Tyra i love you!!!) Am really glad i still got it!!! hahaha...

So that's us on the wall for u...doin our thang...struttin our stuff...

I just love this shirt!!! i made it myself...fyi...yes yes im multi talented...n like janice i can walk,talk,snort coke n take photos...so well yea...i love the print cuz i did it...n i feel oh so darlin about it...wahahahah...

2006-10-02T06:46:00.000-07:00

Went down memory lane that day.. was nice to be back on familiar grounds of my alma mater..for those of u who do not noe,yes im a Saint...hard to believe either way...haha...but yea..i was from SAS...n my advise is never sent your son to that school...wahaha...anyway managed to capture some shots of it...

This building u see above is the Church Of Ascension...i have no idea wat it is apart from the fact that it is a church...never seen it around while i was still in school...hmm..interesting...
Pink is a manly colour...Really tasteful to use pink especially for an all guy's school...The person who tot of using pink for an all male school must be one helluva metrosexual ass...
The tower where the Saints flag is flown up high...yea yea yea..n all that shit about dunno wat fuckin up n on...

This here...is the ehh erm...secondary school...well,at least it yellow...yellow yellow dirty fellow...tee hee hee...

2006-09-28T09:32:00.000-07:00

My my...what a fuckin hot woman!!! yes...itz not a man...itz my favourite supermodel Grace Jones...what i really dig about her is the absolute sleek n elegance that she exonerates (big word here,better go check dictionary)...plus..i love her androgyny..there,another big word for u... hah! I noe itz kinda outta point to suddenly have a photo of a somewhat scary lookin african woman up here,but well,im sorta still tryin to test out if my photos are able to be uploaded...hahaha!!!
Anyways...i got this amazing revelation to make...Colgate really kills pimples!!! yes...believe it or not...haha last nite i kinda got desperate..my face n neck had about 8 fuckin zits...so i used myself as a guinea pig,applied some colgate...within seconds my face was burning...but it was worth it..anyway,as a rule of thumb,remember,dun sleep with the colgate on your face..leave it for about an hour,then wash it off...hahahah!!! Good luck tryin...

2006-09-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

Urgh...woke up this morning...correction..this afternoon...Divas never wake before 1pm..anyway woke up today with a bad throat...was in pain..n that made me feel helluva feverish..fucked...i hate sore throat cuz it never fails to spoil my day...to make things worse..i had fuckin tuition to give today...so naturally..i didnt make any plans with anyone..itz just in me to be so psychedelically psychotic to not be able to do anything else when i got tuition at nite...well,yea so basically i was all by myself the whole time today...loved it! i love waking up to an empty house,goin shoppin alone,then returning to an empty home...i love the silence n peace..went down to takashimaya.. (pls dun say "taka",it really sounds very ah soh-ish thank u) yeah went there to do some beaded shopping...am currently in the mood for creativity and beads makin...yea so i took my perky lil ass down to ART.FRIEND...and spent a good half hour walkin up,walkin down the store...ahhh.. nice n quiet...except for the fuckin old salesman who had his eye on me as though i was gonna steal something...sheesh!! talk about good service...anyway,got my stuff n paid for it...i walked out in a daze...all those fuckin beads cost like $41.40!!!! hahha i had the fuckin urge to refund EVERYTHING!!! hhahah...anyway...it was a hard urge to fight...as u can see below...those are the shit i bought..

Cool huh...there's some metallic studs,some motif beads...the chain...yea all in all...i managed to convince myself it was a great buy..although i still had the urge to return some of da stuff.. :S

wat u see above is obviously not longines...itz my first attempt at makin a bracelet...yea.. amazing huh...wat u can make out of crap...haha..well...i kinda like it..itz very Cleopatra 18th century high fashion...*bleah* haha..wateverrr...
Ahhh...by evening time..after the frustrations n sweat from all the handiwork,i was feeling ready to collapse...my head was stiff..so i had no choice but to call my student's mom n tell her that i was sick blah blah blah...all that shit..n suddenly...i miraculously felt better...not good...just better..
I was in my room,doin somemore beadwork...when i spotted a freakin beetle!!! next to my cabinet..was darn fuckin happy with myself...i successfully caught it in my bottle!!! wahahah!!!
I actually took some bloddy photos of da damn bug..but it seems BLOGSPOT REALLY SUX BIG TIME!!! argh...my head is throbbing..i can't do anymore of this photo uploading...had plenty of photos to upload..but it seems this fuckin goddamn blogspot is a whiny bitch that won't let me upload..forget it...the night is dark n old...time for me to crash n burn...nitez people..

2006-09-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,welcome to my blog...Thank you very much for taking the time to come view my little life,and hope u'll stay for the joyride...
There'll be more entries n stuff goin on in the weeks to come...so stay tuned...mean while...just live on...